An Unusual Letter March 20, 2007
Let me start this update by saying that this is not going to be the usual letter you would expect to see on a ministry web site. It is going to be share things on a much more personal and open level than usual. I know that there are many people that would say this is not the kind of information to share on a ministry web site. But what I am sharing is not just personal, and I believe it would be impossible to share what is honestly happening with Coulter Ministries without it. I am not interested in appearing to be something I am not. This ministry is run by real people, and we go through good times and tough times. Recently, we have seen some of the toughest times in our lives, as well as some of the greatest miracles - and that is what I am going to share.
The Blog
As you may or may not know, Heather and I have been going through a very difficult financial situation since stepping out into full time ministry last September. Last month things reached a very critical point, and I found myself writing a blog about our situation online (read Feb 17th "Job" blog). It had not been my intention to write a blog about it, but rather I just needed some outlet for what Heather and I were going through. I was checking my messages online, saw the blog link, hit it and began to write what was on my heart.
I had such a hard time forming thoughts that the whole thing was almost stream of conscious. After I finished I came very close to pulling it from the Myspace page and putting it in a private file on my computer. To this day I cannot tell you why I left it on the web.
Later that day, one of Heather's cousins read it and encouraged me to share the blog - or at least what we were going through - with others. Heather had already been talking to me about telling someone - anyone - what we were gong through. It was such a hard time in our lives, but I struggled with the idea of purposefully telling people about our situation. I figured if God wanted people to know about our situation, He could direct them to the blog. Then she reminded me about the first century church, and how they would all share their needs with one another. Acts chapter 2 and 4 both talk about this practice, but the Lord led me to read verse 34-36 of chapter 4 which says, "There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostle's feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means Son of Encouragement), sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles' feet."
I realized after she wrote me that I needed to share where we were at. It was hard. Looking back, I know that a large part of the reason it was so hard was because of pride. I don't even like the looks of that word in print, but that's what it was. But I had reached a point where our need outweighed my pride. So I sent out an email about the blog.
The Response
What happened for the next few weeks was amazing - I still don't know how to describe it except to say that Barnabas showed up! A lot of Barnabas' showed up. People began to pour out their love to us. In truth, I guess the emails and phone calls we received were not a vast amount, but they seemed so overwhelming. People gave and gave to help meet the need we had. Others wrote us notes of tremendous encouragement that I will cherish for years. Many called to check on us and spoke into our lives and our hearts. And I was taken back by how many of the people who contacted us had gone through similar times in their lives. It was eye and heart openning. One couple even offered to help relocate us out west and put us up in their home until we could get back on our feet! It was like watching an army of love come at us from everywhere. "the love of God is greater far than pen or tongue could ever tell!"
I was amazed, shocked, and in tears. It was more than I would have ever imagined. I would just sit there stunned as I read some of the emails and letters that came in. I didn't even know how to respond. I was both humbled and overwhelmed at the response. Heather and I watched as time and time again God poured out His love to us through others. All I can say now is that He is truly breathtaking, and, "able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think…"
I would not be completely honest unless I told you that things didn't happen the way I wanted them to - this has been a hard in many ways; so many levels. The place Heather and I have found ourselves in is very humbling. I am a minister, and I have been taught that I am supposed to have all the answers. But I don't always have the answers, and sometimes ministers need help too. I'm learning that that's ok. I guess I wanted our need to be met behind the scenes in some miraculous way. Then I could share the testimony of how no one knew of our needs except God, and He showed up and met the need. I had been praying that way for 5 months. But God is sovereign and that is not how He wanted to work this time. Yet God has met (and is meeting) our needs, and it is no less miraculous. He is just meeting it in a different way. In truth, I wonder if this way may be the way He designed them to be met in the first place.
I have always known that God loves to meet needs miraculously. He loves to show up in the midst of a circumstance in a way that leaves no doubt that it is Him who is doing the work. For years I have heard the remarkable stories of people like George Mueller who ran orphanages in England in the 1800's. On one occasion the orphanage he was at had no food and no money. That morning he had the table set for breakfast - with empty plates and cups. He then told a little girl that was visiting with him, "Come and see what our Father will do."
As soon as he finished thanking the Lord for the food that He would provide, they heard a knock at the door. There stood the baker, who had been up since 2 am baking bread because the Lord had told him that the children might need it in the morning. A few moments later there was another knock at the door. This time it was the milk man whose cart had broken down in front of the orphanage. He needed to lighten the cart quite a bit in order to repair it, so he gave the milk he had on it to Mueller for the children. How awesome is that?!
Stories of God's extraordinary provision like this one are legendary, encouraging, and inspiring. They remind me that my Father knows my need before I ever speak it to him. Like many of you, Heather and I have even experienced these kinds of miracles in our own lives before. That's what I wanted to hapen this time; I wanted to see God work in that way. But God is teaching me that His ways are VAST, and He doesn't always work the same way all the time. I may never know exactly why God chose to do things the way He did this time, but I do know that I have learned something significant from it; a lesson that is simple, but profound to me.
The Lesson
The lesson is this: God loves to work in astonishing ways like He did for George Mueller. He gets all the glory for those things because there could be no other explanation for what has transpired. But God loves it just as much when His children – whom He has so lovingly placed His character into – see a need and respond to it out of the love and compassion of their hearts and not just because of a strategic move of the Spirit of God.
I thank God for ALL the ways He has lavished His love on us. I praise Him for both the miraculous ways He works and the "natural" ways. I am comming to realize through this just how much God is keenly interested in both.
Heather and I have forever been changed by all of this. Lord forbid the day when I see my neighbor's need and am unable (or unwilling) to respond. It would crush me. God has been so unfathomably good to us. I pray He will from this day forward help me to respond with His heart when I see what others are going through. It kills me think of how I have too often responded with a lack of empathy in the past. I hope and pray those days are over. I pray the Lord will help me to have His heart. I want His heart.
We saw a major, major miracle happen! It would take me 2 more pages just to tell you how God did it all. I am still amazed! He did what I could not fathom. All I can tell you is that on the 22nd of last month we were less than two weeks from being out of our home, but God began to meet our need that very day and by the 5th of this month (11 days later), not only had we paid all of our bills that were due, but God had also provided for the first two weeks worth of bills for March! We still have a ways to go before the rest of our bills are met for this month, and even this week we have had some very large and very unexpected bills come up. But we know that God is in the process of completing what He began!
So What Now?
Our biggest concern right now is what to do next; we are a bit perplexed about that, and we need your prayers. As amazing as this outpouring has been, we feel that we will be in the same place at the end of next month unless there are some changes. So the question is what do we do?
It is perplexing because we feel like we are doing in ministry what we should be doing. We go to some great churches, but we also go to some places that are dying. It is not easy - we would love to always be in the churches that are alive, hungry for God's presence, and are ready to worship Him - but those aren't the only places God has called us to. We have been called as missionaries to the church. We have been called to ignite and re-ignite fires that are dead and to cause people who have forgotten to remember who He is! We have been called to the dying and the hurting in the world and in our churches, and we feel like we are right on target with fulfilling that call! The problem is that the churches that are hurting or dying don't have the means to give. Because of that, the finances are not there to support the ministry yet.
I have spent much time on the phone over the past several weeks talking with people about this issue. I have sought wisdom in the situation from pastors, mentors, family, and friends. We know what God has called us to do, and we are doing our best to do it. We are right in the middle of the battle field and we feel like we are making great strides. But it is also painfully apparent that there is something missing and that some very essential needs are not being met. This is where we need your prayers the most.
Most of the counsel we have been receiving has advised us to be bi-vocational. I know of at least two ways of doing that. One obvious answer is for one or both of us to get some kind of work during the week which, as I said in the blog, we have already been working on. The other option is going back on staff at a church that would allow us some travel for Coulter Ministries. There are benefits and drawbacks to both of these, but we are ready to embrace either if that is the Lord's will. There is a third option that has been discussed as well, and that is to raise support like missionaries do. This is the one option that would allow us to devote our full attention to Coulter Ministries; however, our monthly support would have to be raised at an astonishing pace. But I have learned not to doubt God's ability!
We know that the Lord has the answer, and it may not even be one that we have even thought of. We know that He is working it all out, and we don't want to make a move without Him. We have a passion for what we are doing and the thought of pulling back even a little bit hurts. It is so much a part of us - it is our heartbeat. But we are surrendered to whatever the Lord's will is. After all, He's the one that started this journey and He's the one who has the plan for it. He will bring it about in His time and in His way.
Please Pray!
Please be in prayer with us about this. In all of these things, we want nothing less than God's perfect will. We covet your prayers – we need your prayers! If you are one of the many who responded to our previous blog, THANK YOU! We praise God for what He has done through all of you! You will never know what your responses have meant to us. Heather and I are speechless.
To all of you reading this letter, we send our love. If you need us, please call us!
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Eph 3:20-21
|Back to Top |
Ignite a passion for His presence...
Ignite a passion for His presence...
.gif){kind=small}
"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make Your faithfulness known through all generations." Psalm 89:1
Ministry News
